Hi I’m Vala
Having had my own trying experiences and found my way through them, I specialise in helping people who have gone through illness, weight loss challenges and other life struggles find acceptance, conviction, peace and empowerment.
I have faced some challenges in life, but I can sit here today and say that they have been gifts – gifts that have led to more self-acceptance, peace and joy in life.
I grew up feeling that my family’s happiness was my responsibility, that it was on me to keep the peace and be the people pleaser. It has taken me over 35 years to realise that actually, I am my primary responsibility. And now, that I have (mostly) lived in my own truth and on my own terms for some time, I finally see that. My peace, my life choices and my life passions come first. And, I have also learned that this is not selfish.
This is self-care. You know, like with the oxygen mask on airplanes. We have to put one on ourselves before we can help others.
Also, I have been overweight most of my life and that has held me back. My self-worth was low for a long time. I didn’t like myself, but I didn’t know what exactly it was that I didn’t like. I just felt some sort of shame.
I tried various diets. They didn’t work. Finally, after a gastric sleeve surgery, I felt like I was moving towards my true physical self. Food is just as difficult an addictive crutch as alcohol or drugs are. And all are a manifestation of trauma, be it big or small. After my surgery, I went through some tough times as I physically couldn’t overeat to soothe my emotions anymore. Self work has done wonders to help me move forward without turning to food, but it’s a life long journey.
And just one last thing. In April 2020, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Right at the start of a pandemic, so I had to go through all the hospital stuff on my own. I had surgery, bilateral lumpectomy and three long weeks of radiotherapy. THEN the work started. The most challenging part was my recovery.
To be truly honest, I actually got more gifts from my cancer diagnosis than grievances. I gained a new perspective on life, one of serenity, vulnerability and kindness. I took stock of what matters to me and how I wanted to live the rest of my life. I learnt that we cannot control what life throws our way, but we can control how we respond to it, and that response determines which path we choose to walk: a path of the victim or the victor. I also started seeing vulnerability as a strength. And that striving towards non-judgement gives us so much peace.
At times, these gifts left me with a lot of guilt. I mean I had cancer, a brutal disease that takes people away from us too often and too soon. I felt guilt about my journey not being hard enough or painful enough and for the positives I was able to take from it. But, with some self-work through The Adult Chair® model and yoga, I’ve come to realise that it’s still my journey. Journeys come differently wrapped, and I got one of the not-so-horribly wrapped ones, and for that I am truly grateful. I am grateful for the experience, the gifts I got from this journey, the opportunities it has brought to me and the life I’ve chosen to lead since.
If anything from my story speaks to you, then I hope you follow your heart and decide to take the next step. I’m here, looking forward to embarking on a growing and fulfilling journey with you.
